Hogwarts goes Modern!
by The-Spotted-Owl
Summary: Rated for Ron's mild swaring. Hogwarts has decided to go modern! Computers and laptops are introduced and given to the students, but was that really a good idea? Ron isn't so keen on it while Hermione likes the idea. Harry discovers Facebook while Ron struggles to figure out who keeps talking to him online and why his laptop suddenly starts flashing red. And what's a phone?
1. Chapter 1 - Exciting News

**A.N. Unlike the official Harry Potter books, this story is set in 2013 and Harry has just started 4****th**** year. This is chapter is just the introduction, the second one will be when they actually start using the computers.**

**I apologise if anyone has the same last name as any of my OCs. It was not intentional.**

**This is my first fanfic, so please be kind **

**I do not own Harry Potter.**

It was a week into Harry Potter's 4th year at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Ever since Dumbledore announced the triwizard tournament, the school seemed to be a bit more "jumpy" than usual. The students were all especially excited when a rumour started that another important announcement would take place the next night. But much to everybody but Harry's disappointment, nothing of the sort took place.

Harry decided that he had had enough excitement for a lifetime after the previous three years of tackling tough situations, battling nasty creatures and even fighting Voldemort himself. But he knew that the battle was not over and wouldn't be for at least several more years. So Harry went on to try find as much peace and quiet as he could before his next big and dangerous adventure, which often meant hanging out with his two best friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. But of course the only peace Harry had was in the Gryffindor common room and at the Dursley's.

It had been a week since the rumour that something else exciting was coming got out, but everybody still seemed convinced that it was true. And that night was where it all began...

Everybody began piling into the great hall, stomachs growling, eager for the delicious food they were about to be served. After everybody had found a seat and looked rather fidgety, Professor Dumbledore stepped up to the podium. Everyone was immediately silent, eager to hear what the great headmaster had to say. Dumbledore cleared his throat, beamed across the room, and began to speak;

"Greetings to you all on this fine Friday evening. I hope that everyone has had a wonderful start to the year, and that all this radiating enthusiasm continues to shine through each and every one of you. Now, it has come to my attention that a rumour has managed to make its way around the school. Yes, there shall be some exciting news announced tonight, but first, let the feast begin!"

And with a simple flourish of his hand, the feast began.

"Why te body 'ell does he do 'hat?!" Ron raged through his mouthful of steak.

Hermione sighed as she cut her steak into perfect squares next to him. "Do what, Ron?"

"Leaving us in 'suspense' all the time" Ron flung his hands up in the air as he said 'suspence', sending a potato flying off his fork and onto Hermione's lap. "Oops, sorry Hermione..."

Hermione carefully picked up the potato like she would a cockroach and quickly dropped it on Ron's plate.

"Oh, that's just great..." Ron began.

"What is it now, Ronald?" Hermione snapped back.

"Now I don't know which potato is the one that fell off!"

"Don't you mean the one that _you _flung?"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. How am I supposed to eat my potatoes now if I don't know which one it is?!"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake Ronald! Just get yourself a new one"

"But then that's just a waste of four potatoes!"

"Why don't you give them to the house elf's then? I'm sure they would like some food being served to them for a change. In fact, maybe we should start up an organisation..."

Ron's face began to redden as Hermione began to rant on about her latest brainwave. "I don't care about the house elves!" Ron began raging again, "I just want a decent potato!"

Harry groaned as he watched his to friends argue opposite him. He knew how those kinds of arguments turned out... After another long and painful twenty minutes, their plates disappeared and everybody tucked in to their mouth-watering desserts. Harry felt rather uncomfortable as he, Hermione and Ron all sat there is silence. But thankfully another ten minutes later their plates disappeared and the school became silent once more.

"I hope that you are all well fed and watered" Dumbledore began. "Now, for the news that I feel all of you have been waiting a great deal of time for... Hogwarts will begin to become a bit more 'modern'. That is, the muggle kind of modern. This means that technology will be introduced in a way that means that magic will not interfere with it. This is due to popular request from our newer students, and we feel that this will also be useful for students to understand new muggle concepts. Now, some of you may be wondering how we managed to bring muggle technology into Hogwarts. Well, we have hired Professor Kirkwell, a squib, who is excellent with technology to become Hogwarts' first IT (computer science) professor.

Professor Kirkwell has helped us create special types or computers that are run almost entirely on magic, but function exactly like a regular muggle computer would. The only difference is that there will be no need to charge the laptops. Every student will be receiving _one _laptop tomorrow to last them for _at least_ the next few years, so please treat them _very_ carefully, as they can still break like a muggle laptop would, except there will be a few more sparks expelled. So please be careful with them as magical computer are very difficult to fix."

Dumbledore quickly looked at the Slytherin house and continued his speech. "There will be one computer lab in the school library consisting of ten desktop computers. But I urge you not to rely on it if your laptop breaks. Well, that's all I have to say for tonight apart from, 'pip-pip'. "

The entire school suddenly erupted into conversation. The muggle-born students couldn't wait to show their friends the technology they grew up with and many witches and wizards who had never even touched technology before were very intrigued by the new concept. But the rest, like Ron Weasley, were not at all looking forward to having to deal with an extra challenge that year.

Harry was pleasantly surprised with the announcement, as was Hermione, but Ron just grumbled as he trudged ahead of them into his dormitory and went straight to bed.

**What did you think? I promise next chapter will be more entertaining. Sorry if any of the paragraphs looked too long or too short. I wasn't quite sure what it would look like once published online.**

**Please review! (Constructive criticism is welcomed ****)**


	2. Chapter 2 - Ron's big mistake

**Hi everyone :) I'm sorry, this chapter is really crazy and Ron is a tad out of character... But I hope this vaguely entertains you anyway, and next chapter they _will_ start to use the computers!**

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own Harry Potter!**

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Almost everybody was up early the next day. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, but all anybody could think about was the new laptops they were about to be given. Harry was particularly excited to receive them, as he had snuck into Dudley's room once or twice in the past to play on his computer. He didn't have much time though, as when the Dursley's left the house without locking Harry in his cupboard, they were usually back after 15 minutes.

He had only ever played one computer game which was 'snake'. It was a simple yet addicting game that often made him loose track of time, which meant he had to quickly shut the computer down and stumble downstairs to his cupboard, earning him a few injuries which the Dursley's blamed on his lack of magical control.

Harry's train of thoughts were interrupted by a cheerful yell from Neville Longbottom.

"Look guys!" He yelled excitedly, "they're here!"

Harry dragged himself out of bed to find that there was a pile of boxes sitting by the doorway of their dormitory. Harry moved closer towards them as the rest of the year 4 Gryffindor boys apart from Ron gathered around them. Harry saw the word 'laptop' on the box and his heart leapt. He felt excited to finally own something that Dudley would have really wanted. He examined the boxes and saw that each laptop came with a default, coloured case, which unfortunately were different with each box.

"Well," Seamus began, breaking everyone out of their daze. "What are we waiting for?"

Everyone grabbed a box with their most preferred coloured case and ran over to their beds to open it. After about twenty minutes, when most of the boys had managed to figure out how to use the laptop, Ron woke up. All the boys heard a humongous yawn coming from Ron's bed and turned around to find an angry Ron glaring at all of them.

"I cannot believe" Ron began, "that you went and picked your laptops before me!" Ron spotted one box left on the ground and picked it up. Harry braced himself as Ron began to turn the same colour as the case he got with his laptop... maroon.

"MAROON!" Ron roared. Neville whimpered in his bed and began to slide underneath his covers with his new laptop and his bright blue case. Everyone knew that Ron liked bright blue, and Neville was the one that took it. Ron stomped over to his bed and put his box down, before stomping over to Neville's bed and raging once more.

"YOU" Ron said to Neville who was now cowering under his covers. "You disgust me! AND YOU!" Ron said walking over to Harry, who was fighting the strong urge to laugh at how ridiculous Ron looked half stomping half marching across the room. He sort of looked like a furious, giant blueberry, since once Ron reached his boiling point he tended to go slightly blue in the face. It reminded Harry of Uncle Vernon...

"What did I do?" Harry said, sounding braver than he felt.

"You know I hate maroon! How could you let this happen?!" Ron shouted, throwing his arms up in exasperation. Suddenly everything began moving in slow motion. Ron's arms smashed into his bedside table as he turned around, taking out everything that was on it. His wand, his quill, his ink bottle (which was thankfully closed) and worst of all... his glass of water.

"NOOO!" Ron yelled out as he dived to catch the glass, but it was too late. The water spilled all over his bed and onto his open laptop box. Everybody froze while Ron frantically picked up the laptop box, took out the laptop and threw everything else on the floor. He began trying to pry the laptop open on the wrong side, causing a hinge to break off. "ARGH!" He screamed. He opened the laptop on the other side and began banging his fist on all the buttons he could smash.

Harry watched in horror as Ron practically smashed his keyboard apart in a desperate attempt to get it working again. Everybody was too shocked to move. Ron continued to hit the on button again and again without realising it, while the screen feebly turned on and said 'Welcome, please wait...' then turned back off again. After about a minute of this, Ron stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe it was a touch screen? Yeah, he had heard of one of those before.

He began hitting the screen until the other hinge broke off causing the screen and the last two screws that were holding the laptop together to sail across the room. The screen landed just below the open window, but the screws continued towards the open window and fell out of the tower. Ron sat on his bed with his mouth open, matching the expressions on all the rest of his dorm-mates' faces. Ten seconds later they heard a mangled, high pitched scream that sounded like a girl from below the tower. "OH MERLIN!" They heard another girl say. "CAN YOU HEAR ME DRACO?!" Then there was silence.

Ron wasn't sure how to feel right now. He felt a mixture of pride that he did Draco some damage and fear that he would be expelled for this. Ron ran over and picked up the screen that used to be attached to the destroyed keyboard and base of the laptop. "Ron, I think I hear-" Harry began before going silent as their dormitory door flew open and slammed into Neville who had just stood up, knocking him out as he fell back down onto his bed. Standing in the doorway was an absolutely livid Professor McGonagall, her face as red as a rotten tomato. She didn't seem to notice an unconscious Neville beside her as she gave Ron her most terrifying glare.

Ron just stood there, terrified, holding the screen of the laptop in one hand and the base in the other. "RONALD WEASELY, HOW DARE YOU!"

The rest of the boys in the room all gave each other the same look, grabbed their laptops and ran downstairs. All except for Neville, who was still unconscious behind the door.

Harry raced into the common room and ran up to Hermione...

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**To be continued...**

**Thanks for reading guys! Please review, I like getting constructive criticism so I can improve :)**


	3. Chapter 3 - Ron needs help

**Hello again! Here's Chapter 3, hope you enjoy it :)**

**I do not own Harry Potter **

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_The rest of the boys in the room all gave each other the same look, grabbed their laptops and ran downstairs. All except for Neville, who was still unconscious behind the door._

_Harry raced into the common room and ran up to Hermione. _

"Hermione, I think Ron has some serious issues" Harry said hurriedly. He explained to Hermione the whole situation, which he began to regret as her face grew angrier and angrier.

"I can NOT believe him!" Hermione spoke quietly, yet the scary effect she gave everyone when she was angry was quite the same. "He had the nerve to complain when he was about to receive a magnificent invention, then he proceeds to absolutely destroy it?! And all for what, a colour! We could have just changed the colour with a simple spell and then-"

"I know, Hermione" Harry interrupted. "But unfortunately it's too late now. We need to help him somehow... Hey, why don't we use the internet? Did you know that you can Google pretty much anything in the world?"

"Yes" Hermione replied, "I did actually... I was roaming around on my laptop and I found an ad for online counselling. Let's see..."

Harry and Hermione sat on a couch and turned on their computers. Hermione quickly brought up the webpage and showed it to Harry. "Here it is" she said, pointing to her screen. "Do you think it's safe though? The internet can be a dangerous place."

"I say let's do it" Harry said determinedly.

"But it could be a scam... In fact, I never should have even clicked on it in the first place!"

"Fine, I'll do it then" Harry said opening up the same webpage on his computer and clicking on the 'join for free' button.

"Harry, I don't think that this is a good idea" Hermione desperately tried to convince Harry to stop. "Look at the form! You need to enter a lot of personal details... Harry, no, wait, stop! You need to read the terms of use! And the privacy policy! Harry!" Hermione cried out, trying to wrestle Harry's laptop from his grip.

Harry had to admit, the form did look a bit dodgy... But another week with Ron being... well, Ron, and Harry might need the counselling too. Despite Hermione's pleas for him to stop, Harry continued to fill it out anyway;

**JOIN FOR FREE TODAY!**  
**First Name: **Ronald

**Last Name:** Weasley

**Age: **14

**School:** Hogwarts

**Address: **The Burrow, In the middle of no where...

**Phone Number: **Don't have a phone

**Email Address: **Ronald ******.com

**Summarize your problem(s): **May have anger issues

"Harry" Hermione sighed. "Ron doesn't have an email".

"He does now" Harry said grinning. "He can just go to the computer lab and check it, and then viola! Ron is fixed!"

"I don't think that he'll be ok with this Harry" Hermione looked over at Harry's laptop and saw that he had just make Ron an email address. "And what if Professor McGonagall bans Ron from using a computer all together?"

"She can't" Harry said as if it was obvious. "We're taking lessons, and honestly, I think Ron needs them the most. And even if he can't, he can just use mine".

"Well, when Ron gets in trouble for breaking another computer because of a virus, don't come asking me for help" Hermione huffed. They spent the next 15 minutes not saying a word to each other, until they saw Professor McGonagall storm through the common room and step in front of the fireplace.

"Listen up please!" She yelled, sounding rather impatient, but the chatter still continued. "LISTEN UP!" The room suddenly went quiet. "Thank you. Now, recently a student has been very irresponsible with our new pieces of machinery, so I want this to be a lesson to all of you". She paused and pulled out the two pieces of Ron's laptop that she was holding behind her back and glared at the students.

"I trust that most of you are responsible enough t handle this privilege, and if you or somebody else cannot or have not been careful enough, please come and see me. If I find anymore laptops like this" she waved the two pieces around. "Then there will be some hefty punishments handed out, _plus_, one hundred points will be taken off the house's total for any laptop like this. Understood?"

The common room remained silent, nobody daring to move a muscle. "Good. Now if you will excuse me, I have some points to deduct for Mr Ronald Weasley's despicable behaviour" McGonagall walked briskly out of the common room and out the portrait hole. Ron slowly walked down the stairs from his dormitory as quietly as he could, before realising that everybody seemed to know it was him that lost the house one hundred points.

Ron awkwardly walked across the silent common room, earning himself a glare from every person he walked past. He sat down next to Harry and Hermione, who were silently on their computers.

"I can't believe it" Ron said, his eyes still wide from his lecture from McGonagall. The house had begun to talk again, and very quickly the room had become noisy.

"I can" Hermione butted in. "What you did was completely irresponsible-"

"It was an accident! How was I supposed to know what to do with it?!"

"Dumbledore said to be careful with the laptops. And didn't this whole mess start with your lack of self control?"

"Does it matter how it started?! The point is, now I have to use the computer lab!"

"At least you get to use them at all in your free time. I'd be grateful for that if I were you or-"

"Look, I don't bloody care what I should or shouldn't do!"

"Well, you know what? I'm glad that Harry signed you up for that counselling. You need it!" And with that, Hermione stormed out of the room.

"You what Harry?! I do not need counselling!"

"Mate" Harry started. "I got you an email and everything, you just need to go to the computer lab and check it"

"What the hell is an email?!"

Harry sighed. "I'll show you. Come on, let's go..."

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**Next chapter: Ron struggles to find out who keeps talking to him online, and why his screen is constantly flashing red...**

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Counselling and crops

**Hi everyone :) I realise that this story is going down hill pretty quickly, so I may work on a different project and occasionally update this (since it makes me laugh). If somebody wants me to make another chapter sooner at any point, please review to tell me and I will! Otherwise, this will be the last chapter for a least the next week. So... Hope you enjoy :D**

**I do not own Harry Potter**

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"_Well, you know what? I'm glad that Harry signed you up for that counselling. You need it!" And with that, Hermione stormed out of the room._

"_You what Harry?! I do not need counselling!"_

"_Mate" Harry started. "I got you an email and everything, you just need to go to the computer lab and check it"_

"_What the hell is an email?!"_

_Harry sighed. "I'll show you. Come on, let's go..."_

Harry and Ron walked to the library in silence. Ron kept muttering under his breath about how 'ridiculous' this was and that he 'was perfectly normal'. As they turned the corner to the next corridor, they froze. Sitting on a bench was none other than Draco Malfoy using his new laptop.

The top of his head was wrapped up and covered with bandages, and he even had crutches lying next to him. He seemed to be quite stressed as he was breathing rather heavily, his whole body shaking from head to toe. Harry could tell that he was playing an intense game of some sort.

"NO!" Draco yelled out, pressing the mouse pad a million times before sighing loudly. Harry and Ron turned to walk back when they heard Draco's voice echo though the hallway once again.

"Oh, look who it is, the criminal himself" Draco sneered as Harry and Ron turned back around to face their enemy. "So poor that you resorted to crime? Pathetic!"

Ron's expression was beyond fury as he violently drew his wand and stormed up to Malfoy. "You take that back right now you weak old git". Ron pointed to Malfoy's many bandages, his eyes darting back and forth like someone gone insane.

"For you information, those screws put a hole through my face!"

"And Madam Pomfry can fix holes quite quickly"

"If she could then she would have fixed your fowl mouth!" Malfoy retorted.

Harry stood there watching the fight escalate, until he finally realised that he should put an end to it.

"Hey Malfoy" he said, causing both Draco and Ron to turn around. "What are those withered looking plants on your laptop screen?" Harry pointed to Malfoy's laptop as he said that.

"NO!" Malfoy screamed. "NOT THE CROPS!" He ran back to the bench and frantically tried to save his crops on what Harry saw was a game called 'Farmville'. Ron was still standing in the middle of the hallway enraged and slightly confused, while Harry watched in amusement as Draco's stress rose higher and higher.

"TAKE THE HOUSE INSTEAD!" He was yelling at the screen. "NO! MY CROPS HAVE WITHERED!" Draco put on a poker face and gently closed his laptop. He stood up and pointed at Ron with a shaky finger.

"How could you?" He stuttered. His face has turned beet red, and there were a few veins popping out of his neck and forehead. "You let my crops wither, AND NOW YOU SHALL PAY!"

Harry and Ron made a run for it. They managed to escape Malfoy and swiftly half walk, half run to the library.

When they arrived at the library, they found it deserted. Everybody was obviously so absorbed with their new devices that they decided not to bother with books. They walked into the computer lab to find it also deserted. Ron quickly realised that he was the only one to break his laptop on the very first day of receiving it.

Harry logged onto the desktop computer and opened up the internet. He looked over a Ron to find him pressing the 'on' button repeatedly, trying to power up the computer.

"Here" Harry said, reaching over and turning Ron's computer on. "There you go; you only need to press it once"

Ron huffed and put his hand on the mouse, staring at the screen telling him to enter his username and password. "Harry!" He wailed. "What the Godric is a username?!"

"I made you a school account too" Harry replied calmly. "Your username is RonaldW and your password is gryffinweasel"

"How do I enter it in?!" Ron said hitting the keyboard.

"Use the keyboard" Harry said, not taking his eyes away from his screen.

"How the bloody hell do you use it?!" Ron panicked. "Harry! Help me!"

"Calm down Ron! Look, you type by pressing the keys in order..." Harry then proceeded to help Ron log in and set up his email.

"Hey, look Harry! I have an e-snail-thing!" Harry grinned as Ron said this. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the start to a new Ron...

"HARRY! WHO IS THIS!?" Ron cried out, frantically pointing to his computer screen. Harry looked over at Ron's screen to find that a chat window had popped up on his desktop with the words 'online counselling' written at the top.

"That's your online counsellor, Ron" Harry explained. "You type what you want to say into this window and they reply to you"

"Oh" Ron said, looking rather uncomfortable about the idea. "Ok, I'll give it a go"

"And they don't know that you're a wizard, so keep quiet about that, ok?"

"Alright" Ron said as he began to type. After 10 minutes, Ron tapped Harry on the shoulder and pointed to his screen. Harry read over what was on the chat window;

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__Hello, my name is Ron. My friend set me up for this, so let's get it over with quickly._

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__Hello, Ronald. My name is Dexter. I have read over your application, and may I say, you seem like a fine young fellow._

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__So, what's my "problem"?_

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__Well, that's what we need to find out._

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__I thought you were an expert on this online counsel-thing. How long do I have to take this course for?_

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__Well, it all depends on the person. For you it may only take a month or so._

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__ONLY a month?! Look, mate, I appreciate your help and all, but I don't have time for this!_

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__Ronald, it is clear that you have many issues you need to resolve in your life. Why don't we find out the root of your anger to start off with?_

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__NO, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TAKE THIS COURSE! _

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__Ronald, it sounds like your friends are suffering to..._

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__SHUT UP, ALRIGHT? I'M NOT MENTAL!_

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__If you leave right now, there will be consequences. And your computer will suffer too..._

_**Patient Ronald Weasley: **__That's it, goodbye Dexter!_

_**Counsellor Dexter Irming: **__You have made a mistake..._

_Patient Ronald Weasley __has gone offline_

Suddenly, Ron's computer began to flash red and make a very obnoxious alarm sound, like a broken police siren. Harry pushed Ron aside and muted the volume... but the sound continued to play. "ARGH! DEXTER TRICKED ME! WHAT DO I DO?!"

Harry's mind flooded with anxiety and dread. Hermione was right, this counselling thing was _not _a good idea after all... Harry watched as Ron began flailing around the room, yelling;

"SOMEONE BLOODY HELP US! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! I'M GOING TO BE EXPELLED!"

Harry figured that the librarian must have been away, seeing as they would have been permanently banned from the library if she had heard the commotion coming from the computer lab...

Just then, Draco Malfoy ran into the room screaming;

"WHY IS MY COMPUTER FLASHING RED?! WHY WON'T IT STOP BEEPING!" He screamed out. "HELP ME HARRY!"

"YOU HEARD HIM!" Ron yelled out, "HELP US!"

Harry just continued to watch them both run around wildly, Ron picking up the computer and hurling it around the room. Harry quickly realised that nobody could help Ronald Weasley fix himself... And that this new technology was not a good idea...

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**This is just getting crazier and crazier! I hope that you were entertained by this, please review! **

**Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5 - The first lesson

**I just couldn't resist writing another chapter, looks like this story will keep going for a while now :D  
****Thank you so much to all the reviewers and readers. It means so much to me that you took the time to read my story :)**

**Please keep in mind that I do not play Farmville and some parts about it described in this story may not be correct (such as being able to send gifts to neighbours, which may or may not be true). **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :D**

**I do not own Harry Potter!**

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"_WHY IS MY COMPUTER FLASHING RED?! WHY WON'T IT STOP BEEPING!" He screamed out. "HELP ME HARRY!"_

"_YOU HEARD HIM!" Ron yelled out, "HELP US!"_

_Harry just continued to watch them both run around wildly, Ron picking up the computer and hurling it around the room. Harry quickly realised that nobody could help Ronald Weasley fix himself... And that this new technology was not a good idea..._

After the events that took place the previous day, Ron had officially been banned from the computer lab as well, and was only to use a computer under strict supervision in the years 1-4 Gryffindor computer classes they were about to have that afternoon.

"But it's a Sunday!" Ron complained while they were sitting in the common room. "Why are they dragging us into class on a Sunday?!"

"Ron, it won't be that bad" Hermione reassured him. "All we'll most likely be doing this lesson is learning the basics that you learnt yesterday"

Ron huffed and walked up to his dormitory. Hermione gave Harry a 'what are we going to do?' look, then went up to her dormitory to get ready for the lessons.

It was now 2:00 in the afternoon, and Harry, Ron and Hermione were all sitting next to each other at a table in the huge computer science classroom. Harry and Hermione had started up their laptops, while Ron kept his angry glare fixed to the front of the room, waiting for their teacher to arrive. After 5 minutes if waiting, a teacher finally strode into the classroom.

"Hello" he said as he reached his desk. "How are we all today?" There were a few mumbles in reply, and the teacher began to face the front of the room.

"My name is Professor Kirkwell, and I am your 'I.T' or 'computer science teacher. Today I will be grouping you based on your skills. There will be four groups; the basics group, which learns how to control a computer; the rookies, who will be just starting out online and learning how to use basic programs; the confidents, the people who knows how to use a computer quite well, and can carry out any task with instructions provided; and last but not least, the advanced group. Now, the advanced group will only be for students who are able to program a computer and create a simple website. The aim of this course is to get all of you to the advanced group by the end of the year."

Professor Kirkwell paused and saw that Ron's hand was raised. "Yes?" Professor Kirkwell gestured for Ron to talk. "What is your name?"

"I'm Ron, Ron Weasley" Ron replied rather glumly. "I don't have a computer..."

"Ah, yes. Professor McGonagall explained your situation to me, so I have a special computer for you if you would like to come up the front" Ron reluctantly got out of his seat and slowly walked up to the front of the classroom.

"That's a boy!" Professor Kirkwell smiled. "Now, you can use the computer on the other side of my desk, alright?"

"Ok..." Ron walked over to the professor's desk and sat down. Hermione gave him her best 'you deserved it' look, while Harry just shrugged at him. Ron sighed and logged on as the professor began to talk again.

"Now, you all need to do is take this test I am handing out" Professor Kirkwell took a pile of papers from his desk and passed them out around the room. "Begin" he said once everyone had a paper. The scratching of quills was all that could be heard for the next 30 minutes. Hermione's was racing across the page, and Harry's was going at a relatively good speed. But Ron's was going nowhere after the first few questions.

"Ok, time's up" Professor Kirkwell said, collecting all the papers back up again. "Now, because I am a squib, I may need a little helping hand from a student..."

Nobody flinched but Hermione, who had her arm stretched quite high up in the air. "Yes, and what is your name?"

"Hermione Granger, sir" Hermione replied in a voice that seemed to aggravate Ron a lot.

"Right, you can help me mark the papers. I know a spell, do you think you could do it?" And in no time at all, the papers were marked. "Thank you, Hermione" Professor Kirkwell said, making Hermione look very smug, which annoyed Ron even further.

Hermione had gotten into the confident group, which made her do her usual "I should have studied this!" and "How could I have been so stupid!"

Harry also got into the confident group, and was rather pleased with his results. Ron, on the other hand had gotten into the basics group. Harry wondered if it was to do with the fact that he had a violent way of solving computer problems.

Everybody shuffled into their groups and awaited their instructions.

"Now" Professor Kirkwell began. "I will begin by teaching the basics group for fifteen minutes, then the rookies, and then the confidents. Nobody is in the advanced group at the moment, but I'm sure you'll all get there eventually with a bit of enthusiasm and hard work. The other groups can practice their skills or do schoolwork while they are waiting".

Hermione turned to find Harry already on his laptop. "What are you doing?" Hermione asked Harry, leaning over to look at his screen.

"Practising my skills" Harry replied, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"On Farmville?"

"Yes..." Harry answered like it was obvious.

"But Harry, we have homework to do, remember? And I think that there are better ways to practise your computer skills than play silly computer games.

"This is not a silly computer game! I'm growing my own farm and helping my neighbours out"

"Harry, this is absolutely ridiculous. You can get addicted really easily-"

"I don't care" Harry replied. Hermione reached for his laptop, but he pushed her away. "STOP IT!" He yelled. "You don't know what you're doing!"

"I know perfectly well what I am doing Harry, now give it to me before you-"

"Excuse me..." Harry and Hermione both turned around to find Professor Kirkwell standing over them. "I heard a commotion and I would quite like to know what you two are doing"

"Harry Potter is addicted to Farmville" Hermione said to the professor, earning her a glare from Harry.

"Am not, now if you would excuse me..." Harry's voice trailed off as he turned back to his game.

"Harry, I am afraid I'll have to confiscate it if you-"

"NO!" Harry screamed. "THIS IS MY FARM! IF I DON'T TAKE CARE OF IT MY CROPS WILL WITHER!"

"Now now Harry..."

"DON'T YOU NOW NOW ME! I NEED TO SEND DRACO THE GIFTS I PROMISED HIM! DO YOU WANT HIS CROPS TO WITHER?"

"Harry..."

"NO! YOU DO NOT! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR, AND I HOPE YOU GET SOME SENSE KNOCKED INTO YOU BY THE TIME I COME BACK!"

Hermione gave the professor an apologetic look. "He's a bit unstable" she said as Harry stormed out of the room.

"HEARD THAT!" He yelled behind him as he left. Hermione sighed loudly. She sometimes wondered how she was not mentally insane after having spent over three years with Ron and Harry...

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**Well, that's all for this chapter. Please review if you want to!**

**Next chapter will include Harry and Ron on Facebook, with a certain teacher... So stay tuned!**

**Thanks so much for reading :)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Letters and Myths

**I'm so sorry that I haven't updated recently! I've been a bit busy lately. But I made this chapter a bit longer to make up for it :)**

**Thanks to my reviewers, followers and favouriters! It means a lot to me :)**

**Hope you enjoy :)**

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"_DON'T YOU NOW NOW ME! I NEED TO SEND DRACO THE GIFTS I PROMISED HIM! DO YOU WANT HIS CROPS TO WITHER?"_

"_Harry..."_

"_NO! YOU DO NOT! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR, AND I HOPE YOU GET SOME SENSE KNOCKED INTO YOU BY THE TIME I COME BACK!"_

_Hermione gave the professor an apologetic look. "He's a bit unstable" she said as Harry stormed out of the room._

"_HEARD THAT!" He yelled behind him as he left. Hermione sighed loudly. She sometimes wondered how she was not mentally insane after having spent over three years with Ron and Harry..._

It was now Monday and all the year 1-4 Gryffindors were at their computer class. Well, all except for Harry. Harry had recently gotten Ron into Facebook as well, which sent Hermione over the edge. She called their addiction 'time wasting' and 'pointless', but to Harry it was much more than that.

He was chatting to Ron on Facebook on a group chat app, which mainly meant watching all his complaints about how boring the class was pop up in the chat window. Harry was just about to enter another message in when he nearly fell off his chair in surprise...

**Ronald Weasley: **I hate this so much!

**Professor Snape: **20 Points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mr Weasley.

Harry quickly typed in a message and managed to also earn a point deduction. Here was their very unfortunate chat session;

**Ronald Weasley: **I hate this so much!

**Professor Snape: **20 Points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mr Weasley.

**Harry Potter: **How did you get in here? This chat has an exclusive list!

**Professor Snape: **20 Points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mr Potter.

**Ronald Weasley: **Get out! NOW!

**Professor Snape: **20 Points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mr Weasley.

**Harry Potter: **Now you're just copy and pasting!

**Professor Snape: **So what if I am? And for your information, our school has access to this chat, and I am in fact an "Admin" as they call it. So I'd watch your mouth if I were you...

_**Draco Malfoy has joined the chat**_

**Harry Potter: **Hey Draco, did you get my gifts I sent you?

**Draco Malfoy: **Yes, I did. Thank you for that, my corn is finally beginning to grow.

**Professor Snape: **Since when did you and Potter become friends, Draco? Explain.

**Draco Malfoy: **He fixed my laptop, therefore he is my friend.

**Harry Potter: **And he sent me some cows on Farmville, therefore his is my friend.

**Professor Snape: **Where the Godric did you two find cows and corn in Hogwarts?

**Harry Potter: **That reminds me, Draco? Your sheep have run out of grass.

**Professor Snape:** Answer me Potter! NOW!

**Draco Malfoy: **Oh, thanks mate. I'll go plant some soon.

_**THIS CHATROOM HAS BEEN TERMINATED by PROFESSOR SNAPE**_

_**Message: I have also disabled yours and Draco's access to that Farm Village game. Worst wishes, Professor Snape.**_

And that was how that ended. Now Harry was sitting on his bed busily writing Snape a very long winded apology letter in a desperate attempt to gain access back to what had basically become his second life. Originally, he planned to ask Hermione if he could use her account and start a new farm. That didn't go so well either...

"_Hello Hermione" Harry began with, sitting next to his school-obsessed friend on their usual couch in the Gryffindor common room. _

"_Hello Harry" Hermione replied, not taking her eyes off her book. _

_So far so good, Harry thought. "So" he said aloud. "I was wondering if you would let me use your account?" _

"_And why is it that you need to use mine?"_

"_Well, I kind of got banned from a certain thing on my account by Snape... And it wasn't even my fault!" Harry proceeded to tell her the story._

"_No" Hermione said firmly. "I am not going to allow you to use my account for such silly things like... Farmtown!"_

"_It's FarmVille Hermione-"_

"_I don't care what it's called, I'm just sick of you acting like it's the only thing keeping you alive."_

And that was that. Harry finished his letter by signing it in his fanciest writing and tying it up to send to Snape. Just as he was about to tie the letter to Hedwig, he heard a voice.

"Harry?" Harry knew that there was only one person in the whole of Hogwarts that had that voice.

"Neville" Harry replied, looking towards the door to find a very nervous Neville standing there. "Are you alright?"

"No" Neville sulked. "Professor Snape gave me a week's worth of detentions for being your friend."

"Oh, I'm sorry Neville-"

"What did you do?"

"Long story" Harry sighed. He retold the story to Neville, who was narrowing his eyes into a glare.

"I thought Hermione said she had sorted out your addiction."

"She told you I had an addiction?!" Harry took a deep breath as Neville whimpered his way over to his bed. "I can assure you Neville, I am perfectly fine-"

"Yes, but-but-uh..." Neville seemed to be struggling to find the right words to use. Shakily, he continued. "I-I-I'm not f-fine. Hermione isn't-", Neville took a big gulp, "she isn't fine. Nobody is fine with this Harry!"

"I have you know that everybody is fine with this apart from you and Hermione. Now, if you would excuse me, I was about to send an apology letter to Snape."

"You're doing what?! Harry Potter, apologising to Snape?! And why are you sending Hedwig when his office is inside the castle?"

"Look, I don't care what you think. Draco suggested the letter, since he was banned as well."

"You listened to Draco!"

"We're farm friends, of course I'm going to listen to him."

"Just because you're neighbours you're going to listen to your enemy?"

"HE GAVE ME COWS, NEVILLE!"

"Harry..." Neville's voice had suddenly become very quiet again.

"COWS! WHAT MORE COULD YOU EVER WANT?!"

Neville remained silent, keeping his head down. "Harry, you're friends are going to suffer if you don't be careful."

"I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS ON FARMVILLE!"

"You mean Draco?"

"OUT! GET OUT!"

"This is my dorm too, Harry. I was just about to take a nap."

"NOW!" Harry boomed. He could not believe how inconsiderate his friends could be sometimes. Neville nodded and shuffled out of the room. Harry quickly tied his letter onto Hedwig's leg and sent her off down the corridor. Seething with anger, he marched out of the room and down into the common room.

When he arrived there, he could not believe his eyes. There, right in the middle of the common room was a giant, round table. Sitting around it were all the teachers, Hermione and Neville.

"What the hell is going on?" Harry muttered to himself. He looked around and saw that there were tea cups and a giant bowl of water in the middle, which looked about big enough to fit a whole person in.

"Ah, Harry!" Professor McGonagall said, turning around in her seat. Everybody went quiet. "Please, take a seat" she said, motioning towards the seat in between her and Hermione.

"Now" someone said. Harry looked around and saw that Professor Dumbledore was standing and beaming across the room. "I have been doing some 'internet surfing', as they call it, and came across an article on a very old tradition. It states that if we bathe in the water that has been charmed by a witch or wizard, then we will become more powerful, stronger. Now, I have used this very water previously to try it out, and I must say, it was very refreshing."

Harry wondered if Dumbledore had become mentally insane. His suspicions were confirmed as Dumbledore stepped up onto the table and made his way over to the middle. And, much to everyone's horror, hopped into the bowl of water. Harry wondered why everyone looked so nauseated. He was fully clothed, after all.

That's when Hermione spoke up. "Sir" she began, "were you aware that you have been using that water to fill up our cups?"

"Yes" Dumbledore said like it was obvious. "I was. I thought that drinking it would bring us more good fortune."

Harry would be forever thankful that he had chosen to have a drink of water in his dorm before he came downstairs.

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**A/N That "wizarding myth" was entirely made up incase anybody was wondering.**

**Thanks for reading! :D **


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